


Together

by AweburnPhoenix



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer Arc (X-Files), F/M, First Kiss, Post-Episode: s04e22 Elegy, RST, Resolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:09:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24089425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AweburnPhoenix/pseuds/AweburnPhoenix
Summary: Mulder wants to apologize to Scully after he's accused her of lying to him about her health. Angst turns into a first kiss.}» Audio version available on the Audio Fanfic Podcasthere
Relationships: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully, Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 12
Kudos: 110
Collections: 2020 Reader Appreciation Collection





	Together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kieze_Matze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kieze_Matze/gifts).



> The prompt: «ELEGY: A fix of the ending. I need harmony, trust, a strong Mulder that doesn't just make her disappear. A Mulder who wants to fight for them both against her inner protective walls. MRS, Angst, and Fluff (and maybe a little smut?. ;-))»
> 
> I hope this is close to what you were hoping for.
> 
> Endless love to admiralty for her beta help <3
> 
> }» Audio version available on the Audio Fanfic Podcast [here](https://soundcloud.com/audiofanficpod/xf-together-by-aweburn-phoenix-ma?ref=clipboard)

“Why can't you be honest with me?”

Mulder is hurt, and sad. After all this time, realizing that she still can’t trust him hurts so bad.

"What do you want me to say?” She quickly replies, defensively. “That you're right? That... that I believe it even if I don't? Is that what you want?”

"Is that what you think I want to hear?”

"No.”

Well, at least they are on the same page about that. He can’t believe she’s telling him this. They’ve always been honest with each other, that’s why they work so well together. Even when she doesn’t believe his crazy theories she listens to him, and disproves whatever nonsense he might come up with. He has never wanted her to agree with him just to shut him up. Especially not about something as serious as this.

"You can believe what you want to believe, Scully, but you can't hide the truth from me. Because if you do, then you're working against me... and yourself.” He realizes he’s being a little too harsh, so he tries to calm down. “I know what you're afraid of. I'm afraid of the same thing.”

They never talk about  _ it _ . It’s as if they keep ignoring  _ it _ , maybe  _ it _ will go away. She pretends she’s fine most of the time. He pretends he believes her; because when he doesn’t, she shuts him out even more.

"The doctor said I was fine.” Of course, she would say that.

"I hope that's the truth.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets saying them. It seems like he’s accusing her of lying, but that’s not what he means. He just knows she’s holding something back.

"I'm going home,” she replies in almost a whisper.

Scully rushes down the ramp and he lets her go. He needs to compose himself. Barking at her like that when she’s the one hurting doesn’t seem like the best idea, even when she is so frustrating.

Mulder leans against the wall. He is hurting too, even though he wouldn't seem to have a reason. He’s not the one with the Sword of Damocles hanging over his head. But he’s still afraid all the same. He can’t lose her. If anything happened to her, he couldn’t go on living. It almost killed him, losing her once. He’s sure he wouldn’t survive it a second time.

How's he supposed to help her if she doesn’t tell him what’s happening? Even though she says she doesn’t believe it, he knows she thinks what seeing that fourth victim means. Fuck, he told her himself: people who saw victims were dying. So, it means she is dying. 

She must have been terrified. 

Fuck that theory! If he had known she had seen an apparition he would have found another reason. There’s gotta be another reason. Scully  _ can’t be _ really dying. She says she is fine. Her doctors say she is fine. 

He doesn’t want to believe she is lying to him. 

An apology is long overdue. He needs to show her once and for all that she can trust him. He wants to be there for her.

Mulder rushes outside the building and into his car, revving up and almost exceeding the speed limit. He’s lucky that there’s a spot in front of her door so he parks —more like drops the car in whatever way— and jumps out, running up the stairs.

“Scully?” he calls for her, knocking on the door.

It’s past midnight so he doesn’t want to bang the door too loudly, but he needs her to open, so he tries again.

“Scully, please, open the door!”

Still no response, he’s pissed her off too much this time.

“Listen, I’m sorry,” he starts apologizing, hoping that even though she doesn’t want to see him at least she has come close enough to the door to hear his words. “I trust you, okay? I will  _ never _ not believe you.”

He pauses for a moment. It’s the truth, the only thing he’s sure about right now.

“That’s why I need to know that you’ll be honest with me no matter what.” He pauses again, listening for any sound. “Even if you don’t completely trust your eyes, I need you to tell me what’s happening. It’s the only way I can help you.”

Still no words from her. He wishes he could open his heart for her, maybe with the door between them he can gather strength.

“I can only imagine what you’re going through, I wished you could talk to me. I’m scared, too. Fuck, I’m terrified. But I’m taking shots in the dark here. I need you to be my eyes on this.”

Only silence. Maybe he’s gone too far. He can’t imagine losing her... She is going to be okay.

So Scully has decided to ignore him, at least for now. They can talk tomorrow at work. Unless she does her usual drill of pulling everything behind the curtain and pretending that nothing has happened. Mulder is not going to allow that.

“Okay, I get it, you’re still mad. But I’m not going anywhere. I’ll sit here until you decide to let me in. This time we are going to talk,” he decides, sitting on her doormat.

Mulder rests his head on her door and closes his eyes. Even if she doesn’t get out until morning, seeing him there is going to make her unable to ignore him this time.

“Mulder?” He suddenly hears her voice by his side in the hallway.

“What…? You weren’t home?” He swiftly gets up, happy that he’s not going to have to sleep on her doormat.

“It’s taken me a little while to find a place for the car. Some jerk parked in my spot,” she snaps, and he takes it quietly. He should have noticed that her car was not around.

They stand there for a moment until Mulder realizes he’s blocking her door and steps aside silently, allowing her to unlock it and get inside. 

She doesn’t slam the door in his face, which is a good sign, but he doubts whether she wants him in, so he stalls.

“Aren’t you coming in?” she asks from the kitchen and Mulder rushes in, closing the door at his back.

Still not looking at him, Scully starts heating the kettle and pulls two mugs from the cupboard. Mulder sits down at the kitchen table waiting for her to say something.

“Do you want tea? Maybe you prefer coffee?” She asks him, still her back to him, while she searches through her pantry.

“Tea is fine,” is his answer. Though he’d prefer coffee right now, he doesn’t want to make any more trouble.

“Which one?”

He can see she’s checking several boxes and sachets, but she’s still not turning around.

“Whichever you’ll have, I’m not picky.” He just wants her to finish quickly and sit with him so they can finally talk.

Scully pulls a couple of tea sachets and sets one in each mug. She’s done, now waiting for the water to heat, but still not turning to face him. Mulder guesses it’s high time he speaks up.

“I’m sorry about earlier, Scully. I didn’t mean—,” he starts, but she cuts him off with a bang of her fist on the counter.

“You think it’s easy?” She goes off, startling him, but finally, she turns around. “Saying  _ ‘Oh, by the way, I saw a ghost —even though I don’t believe in ghosts— so that means I’m dying, too. Anyway, let’s do another autopsy, no biggie _ ’. Hmm?”

He can see she’s been crying. It breaks his heart that she’s been going through all this by herself. He doubts she’s even talking to her mother about what she’s feeling because that’s not something Dana Scully does.

“I—.”

“I can either believe that seeing this ghost means I’m dying or I can believe my doctor saying I’m not —at least not yet. Forgive me for choosing science once more,” she yells in a low voice.

He can see she’s fighting the tears back and the urge to hug her overwhelms him, but she’s keeping him at bay with her arms crossed in front of her.

“You’re not dying,” he responds, seriously, stepping forward. “You just can’t.”

“I wished it were that simple, Mulder. But you don’t have that kind of power.”

He somehow thinks he does, though. He brought her back to life once, at least he likes to believe so. And he believes that wishing this illness away is going to work out too. If only he knew what they were actually fighting against.

“I need you to tell me what’s happening, I need to know.”

He is begging now, done with anger and regret. Mulder takes one step closer and he’s almost over her. She’s never nervous with his presence, but now she seems to be a little. He’s invading her space and her mind. Scully releases her arms on her sides and pushes him back.

“Mulder, this is personal. You don’t have the right to ask me that. Why do you always need to know? This is  _ my _ life! I don’t owe you any information about it.”

“You’re right. You don’t owe me anything. But I wished you shared what’s going on with me. I don’t know what’s happening and I feel like my life is slipping away.  _ You _ ’ve become  _ my _ life. I can’t fathom living without you, not any more.”

He had almost told her this some months ago but he was afraid. He isn’t now. He’s not holding back. Whatever happens, he’s not going to waste another minute. He wants her to be honest, so he thinks it’s high time he starts being honest himself.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to find a way,” she dismisses his words at the whistle of the kettle.

“No! I don’t want to find a way. I want you to listen to me.” Mulder puts away the kettle and turns her around, forcing her to look him in the eye. “I want us to fight this together.  _ Together _ .” He emphasizes his words by grabbing her hand.

He’s been telling her one way or another, but never this clearly. 

“I’m…” she pauses. Whatever she was going to say gets lost in the moment.

The response he has been expecting is her not being interested, but that is far from what’s happening. She hasn’t said ‘no’, she seems to have just thrown in the towel. Mulder is not going to let her do that. If she has lost her strength, he’ll find enough for both of them.

He looks in her eyes for some indication that she really doesn’t want this. Not finding any, he finally goes for her lips. 

He’s been wanting to do this for months. Years, actually. But ever since she fucked that Philly weirdo, since he saw her almost kissing his doppelganger, Mulder has been yearning for her even stronger.

She doesn’t push him away, but when they separate she sighs and takes a step back.

“This is wrong…”

“Why!? Just give me one reason, and I’ll go.”

She stares back at him, tears still pooling in her eyes, and takes a second to answer.

“I am dying,” she whispers, very slowly. 

Mulder can see she actually believes so, that she’s a walking corpse waiting to collapse at any given moment. He can’t stop feeling that he is the one that made her feel that way in the first place. 

“From what I see, you’re very much alive right now.”

He’s planning to make her see what he sees, she still has a lot of life in her. Grabbing her by the hips, he pulls her up the counter and kisses her lips fiercely. Little by little he feels her body respond, heat radiating from her. This is how he’s going to keep her alive, by loving her with all that he has.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Lovely readers, if you've ever left me a comment, I'll be happy to write something for you too.  
> You just need to leave your prompt in this spreadsheet:  
> https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1wPzh33-_8mcM_hFqi1qSqA4DRcI1VMx7SOZ-Jgxyo20  
> 😊


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